Nearing the Tannhauser Gate

I woke up with the feeling today. Right after I lifted myself out of bed, stared at the clock reading 12:16 PM, it hit me: I have less than a month in San Luis Obispo. Mostly everyone is gone now, I have seven days left at work, and the final task is at hand: Start packing.

Went to see Vicky Christina Barcelona at The Movie Experience today, as it was my day off. It was my third time watching the movie (I like it a lot- Woody Allen is so damn good!). On top of that however, the results for our vote-in awards came in. I tied with Kate for Most Thorough Usher, and I won Most Overall Votes. Hell of a self-esteem booster, especially since I just met these people only two months ago. It saddens me to have to let them go as well, but I'm glad to have known them at all. They made my summer, each day presenting its new ridiculous off-the-wall conversation or boredom-killing activity. It was a damn good job, and who the hell cares if I was considered a corporate tool by those snobsters at the Palm? I'd take the laid-back demeanor of the DCC anytime. Give me the coffee-stings, the popcorn-mountains, the trash races and broom duels.

There are some memories that burn so vividly in your mind, even when they have been around you long enough to collect dust, that they can still light up the room where they took place before, so that you can even see yourself right there, at that moment, doing the action that you find so powerful, so poignant, so defining. I'm more than lucky to have several on hand: Film Class, Brian and Hayden's Joint Birthday Junior Year, Radiohead on My Birthday, Seeing Bright Eyes with Claudia and Julia, White Nights in Yosemite Playing Ukelele with Cody, The Big Conversations with My Father, My Therapist, and My Counselor. These are just a handful of the ones that come to mind, and it makes me realize what good friends I had over the years.

Sometimes I wish I didn't write 35 affirmations in yearbooks on Grad Night, so I could have focused on the ones that counted.

Anywho, The DCC memories will burn like the others because they taught me something I almost forgot- the power that a true sincerity and kindness can do in order to open up even the most reserved of peoples. Something more important than anything now as I veer off into the great unknown.

And what is that great unknown? The best part is, like the best transitions in my life, I have no damn clue what is coming next. I have not the foggiest idea where this new open vista is going to take me. It's as if I'm Maxwell Smart during the opening credits of Get Smart, where I have gone through all the big doors to get to the final one. I've opened it, and everything is white and blank on the other side. Not a nothingness, but a blank slate.

No one is telling me what to do now. No one is telling me what to wear, or what to study, or what I need. Finally at the top of the To-Do List is things I Want.

This is what I want:
1. See remaining friends
2. Pack
3. Create the Perfect Library of DVD's and Books
4. Think. A lot.
5. Write that letter to Paul Farmer
6. Carpe Noctem AS WELL AS Carpe Diem
7. Love a lot of people, regardless.

Watched Bladerunner again the other day. Genius movie. Especially the final moment, when the replicant Roy begins to shut down.



The key is to joy life, man. Embrace the transience, everything is fresh that way!
Cheers.